A letter to my younger self - Alice Allum | The BE Platform
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28 Sep A letter to my younger self

Dear Alice,

I want to ask you to be honest with yourself, I want to ask you to be present in this moment, I want to ask you if you’re happy. I want to know if your soul is really laughing as you seem to be on the surface, or if you’ve become so accustomed your timing is impeccable? I want to know if your eyes glitter with truth or with hope? I want to understand who you are.

I’ve questions I’m dying to ask you. I know you will find them uncomfortable at first, I want you to promise me you’ll always search for the answers if they ever become lost. I want you to take the time to get to know who you are, in fact I want you to take the time to stop and reflect. Slow down. Where are you going? Are you moving with purpose or are you running away?

I want to tell you to not worry about your mum, she’s the most incredible woman you will ever know. Don’t worry about your sisters either, or whether you’ll ever have a good relationship with your Dad. Don’t worry about boys, or girls for that matter, you are destined for a love deeper than you could ever imagine. Worry about yourself. Look after yourself – you’re precious.

Don’t be afraid of what these questions might reveal. They’re revealing the truth, they’re revealing you. I want to pull back each layer of façade, piece by piece. I want to show you that you’re stronger than the pain and fear you’re feeling. You’re yet to discover this but you have a fierce fire inside of you ready to spread with passion and love.

Stop being afraid of judgment and what others may or may not think about you. It will hold you back from satisfying your true desires, from realizing just how capable you are. Are you living your life in the pursuit of becoming what everyone else expects you to be or are you honoring your own expectations?

Tell me, what makes you glow with ecstasy? Is it really the touch of a boy who’s soul you do not know?

What makes you cower with fear? Is it the threat of pain or is it a doubt that you think you’re not good enough?

What makes you explode with laughter? Is it really in the humiliation of others or do you feel it in the magical flickers of playfulness?

What do you want from this beautiful life which will not last forever? Is it enough to strive only for acceptance of others or do you dream of something bigger? What do you really wish for through those lonely tears?

I want to know what it is you’re hiding from behind that beautiful mask. I want to tell you your clothes, make-up and handbags do not fool me of your happiness. Do they fool you?

What is it that makes you feel ashamed, worthless and lonely? Is it the times you were not brave enough to speak your mind, or the moment you chose not to stand up for what you believe in?

What challenges you? Is it really helping other people or is it helping yourself? Will you be brave enough to stretch and grow, to push yourself to your absolute limit?

What burns your face with embarrassment? Is it when people make comments which make you feel uncomfortable or is it because you choose not to defend yourself?

What fills your body with adrenaline? Is it really the thrill of confrontation or do you think it could be the rush of discovering what you believe in?

I want you to realize and understand just how powerful you are. It’s time for you to just be. You’re ready to set yourself free and become the person you want to be.

But first, before all others, I want to ask you; who are you? And more importantly, who do you want to become?

Don’t be afraid of finding the answers. The key is in knowing who you are.

I’m excited to meet you. I’m excited to become you.

Yours truly,