5-step process to follow after a draining conversation... - Alice Allum | The BE Platform
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04 Nov 5-step process to follow after a draining conversation…

Luckily, I now recognise the signs (it’s fair to say I’ve found myself in this situation more than once! 🙄😂)  and have a 5-step process I follow when I’m feeling drained after a conversation or interaction.

And that’s what I want to share with you today. 👏

STEP 1. “We are all responsible for our own energy.”

The first step is to recognise and accept when you don’t feel good. Don’t try to fight it. Remember, what we resist, persists. Give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling…and then make a choice – a choice to empower yourself to connect with a new feeling.

It’s so easy to blame the other person and say; “I feel sad because that person made me feel sad.” 

But when we do that, we’re just giving our power away. We must empower ourselves and instead ask;  “How would I like to feel right now? And what do I need to do to make that feeling possible?”

STEP 2. Recognise the meaning you’re attaching to the situation.

This is a biggy. Usually if I’m feeling angry or upset after a draining conversation it’s not because of what they told me, it’s because of the meaning I’m attaching to the situation.

I’ll attach meaning to the situation such as;

“They’re choosing to share this with me because I’m such a push over. No one else would put up with listening to someone complain so much. They’re treating me like a doormat and taking advantage of my kindness – obviously no one respects my time.”

This meaning can then become a story that we play over and over again in our heads for the rest of the day – punishing ourselves for something that just isn’t true.

When we get curious about the story that we’re telling ourselves behind the negative feelings we’re experiencing we can then choose to free ourselves and create a new meaning, such as:

“Wow, that person has had a really bad day. I’m grateful for my amazing day. I’m a kind loving person for listening and because of my self-awareness I now have the ability to re-connect with my own life and enjoy my day. Aren’t I a badass?! 😎

STEP 3. Breathing 

Deep, slow breathing calms the stress part of our brain. That’s why it’s such a powerful tool. When our breathing is calm, our mind and body is calm too.

Our breathe really is the most powerful tool we have, we’d be silly not to utilise it!

By breathing slowly and deeply after a draining conversation, we get to re-fuel, re-asses and choose how we want to respond…rather than reacting.

We’re also letting the negative emotions come full circle so we can release them and move on.

STEP 4. Re-focusing 

This one’s the game-changer. Once we’ve created new meaning, cleared the negative energy through deep, slow breathing and calmed our mind and body, it’s time to re-connect back with our own life and bring our focus back to our own intentions for the day and what we wanted to achieve.

Remember, what we focus on expands. 

Shifting our focus back to our own schedule and feelings will bring you back into alignment with yourself.

This is where intention-setting is so important. Most people who get swept away with other people’s lives usually don’t have their own goals, visions and intentions. Starting a daily habit of intention setting can really keep you anchored in what’s important to you.

STEP 5. Create a Love bubble 

The final step I like to take once I’m re-focused on my own life and intentions is to visualise a ‘Love-bubble’ around me.💖 Mine is always sparkly and bright pink. Yours might be green, or blue, or white. Whatever feels good for you.

(Try it now, go on – don’t read past this without doing it! Close your eyes, and see a bright pink love bubble surround you, really imagine it protecting you and keeping you safe and full of love.)

My love bubble reminds me that I am my own person, with my own energetic space and I am the one who gets to decide how I feel. 

By placing this love bubble around me I’m also re-estabilshing my energy boundaries and also cutting the energetic cords with the people I’ve crossed paths with that day. 

You can do this anytime. You might do this when you leave the house every day or before you’re about to do something that scares you – it’s a wonderful feeling!

So, there you have it, my 5-step process – I hope it serves you well!