One year left to live - Alice Allum | The BE Platform
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28 Nov One year left to live

Yesterday I had a little scare, I felt a lump in my left breast, I spent the next hour examining myself, squeezing, prodding and comparing. The thought that crossed my mind was, what are you doing Alice? If you’re dying you’ve let yourself down. A list of ‘should haves’ ran through my mind with an overwhelming rush of adrenaline.

Here’s a few that crossed my mind:

  • Stop hiding and tell the world who you are. You have so much to offer, don’t be afraid.
  • Tell everyone about your dream, don’t just tell them, show them.
  • Stop using silly business words – I want people to look at me and see truth, passion and life not spreadsheets and handshakes.
  • Don’t allow people to make you feel bad for laughing – you are silly, fun and giggly and you love it!
  • Just make that video – the one you’ve always wanted to make!

 

Today I feel breathtakingly incredible.I’m going to feel the thrill of life everyday, good and bad.

I read an article in The Guardian a couple of months ago, it was titled ‘Top 5 regrets of the dying’. It was an interview with a palliative care nurse who shared the most common regrets of the dying, it was incredible to read.

The most common regret of the dying is; I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself.

The nurse said:

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”

We joke that we wish we had more sex, our partners didn’t moan as much, our boss would recognise our hard work, but when we search into the deepest parts of our hearts, what do we really wish? What would our biggest regrets be if we died in a month, in a week, tomorrow? What does the voice in your head say which you push aside daily? What gut feeling are you ignoring that prods you every second of the day? What are you putting up with? Even more to the point, who are you putting up with?

Take a moment to acknowledge one day you will be facing death. Stop waiting for tomorrow to come, or when you have more money, a better job, more credibility or more experience.

Today is the day we must all begin to be true to ourselves.

Yesterday I made the choice to share a very personal piece (What I know for sure) the response has been overwhelming. Each day I’ll make a choice, a choice to live a life true to myself. Today I’ve made a promise to always be honest in my writing, to not hide behind fancy words and to be brave enough to say; this is who I am.

What one thing could you start doing today, small or large, to work closer to living a life truer to yourself?